If you’re feeling tense, anxious or stressed.. stop for a minute, take a breath and read these 5 reasons why you might be hanging out in overwhelm.

1. Not saying NO enough

Saying yes to everything is a sure way to end up in overwhelm. For years, I was a ‘people pleaser’ and I put others expectations of me before my own personal needs. Big no no for happiness! What I didn’t know at the time was that I was putting my own self worth in the hands of someone else.. Whether you are seeking significance, love, esteem or simply non-judgement, you are handing over your personal power to another person and that poor person can’t control your needs as well as their own! It’s time to get real and say no when you know something isn’t right for you.. and you can be really nice about it! You can say “I would love to do that but today I really need to take some time out for myself”. Trust me, they will still love you (and if they don’t, happy farewell!) and they will likely respect you more for respecting yourself.

2. Living in your head, not your body

Thoughts are so powerful and there is only one person who can control yours. YOU! It is easy to identify your thoughts if you take a moment to listen to them. Become curious of how your thoughts arise and leave and how some might control the mood of your day. Know you have the power to turn negative thoughts around. If you’re stuck in your head, know it is easy to find a better feeling thought when you are in your BODY. As you catch yourself out, do something that engages the cardiovascular system like dancing! It will move you into your authentic state of being and increase happy thoughts and feelings. Find something positive and powerful in the moment and say it out loud “I love strawberries!”. It doesn’t have to make sense. It only has to feel good long enough to build up momentum to a good feeling. If you catch the neg vibes quick, they are easier to swap out for something supportive. If you feel yourself on the thought roller-coaster often, try seeing if you can reduce the icky ride down to 17 seconds. The shorter the ride, the easier it is to swap it out for something that feels way better!

3. Chosen ​not​ to do that 1 THING

If you’re trying to do a million things at once and your ‘to-do’ list is as long as your news feed, try taking a breath and doing just 1 THING. Go within and ask yourself what is really important to do today, then highlight those things. Then ask yourself, what is the 1 THING that I should be doing with my time instead of worrying about all the things you wont get done on your super long list. Usually there is one important thing, that thing that will move you toward the feeling you want to have.. and all the other stuff is just that. STUFF. Let the stuff go and do that 1 THING. You will feel much more productive, organised and relaxed.

4. Trying to control something uncontrollable

Sometimes I have to laugh as I find myself trying to control things outside of my love bubble. The other day I found myself trying to control how much my dog was barking when I was on a client call. This is funny, because if there are two things a dog does, it is poop and bark. Right? Unless I gaffer taped his snout (which I would ​never do btw!) or took time out for doggy training, I really don’t have much chance of controlling the bark. Our bodies give us a great signal when we are attempting to control something. We feel a great deal of stress and tension in the body. If you are feeling tense and uptight, ask yourself “What am I trying to control?” and if it’s uncontrollable.. it’s time to give it a giggle and let it go.

5. Looking outside for the answers

We all know what it feels like to have worries and share them with others in the seeking of finding answers. There is a saying “A trouble shared is a trouble halved” but I like to say “A trouble recycled is a trouble doubled”. When we share our life’s problems with others, we don’t often ask ourselves whether the person is qualified to give us the answers we need. If we are turning to everyone, we quickly become overwhelmed simply because all the answers we receive are opinions and are different for each person. We may also double the problem just by focusing on it so intently. You know the expression, “a mountain out of a mole hill”. If you feel this happening to you, it’s the perfect time to return to no. 2 and go through the 17 second process. Remember this phrase “A trouble recycled is a trouble doubled”. Instead of taking your troubles outside. Relax, take a few deep breaths, go within and ask yourself for the answer. It is always there. You hold the key to your life.

Know you are the most powerful person to create the change you want to see. Next time you’re in overwhelm, pinch yourself and say “I know what the grass to do about this!”